§ ¶Wednesday 30 November 2005

Oh no. I'm buying again.

Not only did I decide I needed some books by Judith Tarr - I ordered Avaryan Rising & Avaryan Resplendent - (and that's all Catie's fault :), I also spent the evening browsing on and buying from iTunes.

Woodface

Death Cab For Cutie

Plus I've got a few others on the wishlist (Rogue Wave, for example). But I can't, I can't I can't spend more money. Because it's also Autumn, soon to be Winter, and that's the time for dollmaking frenzy. Which means I've also been buying supplies like there's no tomorrow. To make a long story short: the money's almost gone and it's not even December 1st yet! Bad, bad Meike!

§ ¶Monday 28 November 2005

What do you do when your toddler wants to hear the Nijntje (=Miffy) title song all day long? Heeeeelp!

Nijntje

I think I'm going insane...

§ ¶Saturday 19 November 2005

I'm going to be an aunt!

Next year, end of July! *fingers crossed all will go well* Yay! Well done twinnie and boyfriend-in-law!

§ ¶Wednesday 16 November 2005

It's a seamless transition from one ailment to the other. I'm currently nursing a vicious cold. Instead of preparing to nurse something else, one could say. But one won't, because that's over and done with. C'est fini. (I don't know why the French all of a sudden. The situation calls for it, perhaps?)

So I take my solace in the colours of autumn leaves and the books I'm reading. At the moment, I'm devouring Janny Wurts' Peril's Gate, which I found bumbling about in the bookcase upstairs and turned out to be yet unread, to my big surprise. It's an unexpected gift. I always take some getting used to Wurts' complicated prose, but once I'm there, I'm lost. Here's to new vocabulary in English!

§ ¶Thursday 10 November 2005

Alas, back to square one. I had a miscarriage after all.

It probably went wrong at a very early stage. Womb is clean again (except for my friend the myoma, which had been growing excessively, like the first time, but doesn't pose a threat), ovaries looked just dandy. So. I'm going to have a BIG drink this evening, and next time, we'll just try again.

It's sad, and I feel sad, but we'll be ok.

§ ¶Tuesday 08 November 2005

L'histoire se répète. The bleeding started Sunday night.

Hey, that grabbed your attention, didn't it? No, I won't joke about it. But sometimes, joking is the only way to cope.

Anyway. I'm 8 weeks and 5 days pregnant, if I'm doing the calculation right. I know what I said about *not* being pregnant some time ago, about twinnie being first up, and I spoke the truth then, but... well sometimes you run out of certain things to prevent it from happening, you know. And who'd have thought it would happen so quickly...

But. The bleeding. It still goes on. So we can't hope. Not yet. It hurts, too. I've got an ultrasound scheduled for Thursday morning. Until then... we're just going to keep our fingers crossed and expect the worst. Dammit.

§ ¶Sunday 06 November 2005

Yay, I've got Bluetooth all figured out and it works! I can now transfer all images and videofiles from my cellphone to my PC, hurray!

I don't know why, but this weekend I've been feeling more peaceful than I have in a long, long time. Must have been two years at least since I felt this good. Autumn's here, I've been planting flower bulbs in my garden, I dug out my doll making supplies (not from the garden) for the first time since Olivier was born, I've got a beautiful Bach CD in the player... It just feels like the me I used to be a long time ago. And damn, that feels good!

§ ¶Thursday 03 November 2005

I feel so soft and vulnerable today. Like if someone were to prod me with just one finger, I'd keel over, just like that.

It must be the world outside, the unseasonably high temperatures, the soft light. Still, leaky eyes on my bike this morning? When there's not even a gust of wind? It felt rather silly. I think there may be something wrong with my armour. Anyone know a good blacksmith? Big, burly and reasonably priced?

§ ¶Tuesday 01 November 2005

At long last, Autumn is here. Or at least, it finally *felt* like Autumn when I cycled home from the station today. It was dark, it was raining, and I felt like I was living in my own little cocoon, with my music on and the spatter of raindrops on my head every now and then. Just me and the rain and other cyclists' tail lights. I like it when it's dark and there's just the road to think about. It's very peaceful, in a peculiar kind of way.